1. Do not put me in a nursing home. I'd rather you stick me in a room with a crock pot of what I'm to eat than put me in a nursing home. Care for me as best you can and what doesn't get done just doesn't get done. Don't worry. I guarantee you that I will be thrilled to see your face each day when you come home from work then I would a healthcare worker.
2. Don't, and I mean don't tell me I'm repeating myself. Just sit and listen intently. Feedback is welcomed.
3. Do not be mean to me--EVER. If I get on your last nerve I'd rather you say NOTHING then anything at all. Walk away, cool off, but never disrespect me by yelling at me, degrading me, or treating me with disregard.
4. I like to be clean. I like clean hair, I like a clean body, I like clean sheets and towels, I like a clean environment. So, take the time to bathe me at least once a day--twice would be even better. A bath in the morning and one at night, oh yeah! Come to think of it, let's do one before breakfast, a wash down after lunch, and a bath at night. That way all three of you can participate!
5. I am a Christian now, will be tomorrow, and will be after I am dead and gone. So, I don't care what your religion is or is not, don't disregard what my beliefs are. Take me to church at least once a week. Even if I can't hear or see or speak, take me to the house of God. If I am incapacitated, find a church that will come and visit me weekly and minister communion monthly.
6. Make sure that my room is filled with the Word of God. Read to me daily before I go to sleep, from the Holy Bible. I love the King James Version but other versions will be fine. I want to look at Christian shows, listen to Christian music, and be entertained by Christian people. If your friends are a bunch of hulligans, they don't need to come visit me. I won't have time for their foolishness and their disrespect for older people. Protect me like you would a prized possession.
6. Do not keep the grandchildren away from me. Make sure that they are involved in my care. How they treat me will be how they treat you when you are old. Teach them to treat me well and you will be guaranteed the same when you get older. They need to learn the importance of caring for the elderly--let them practice on me. Allow them to ask me all the questions they want without you telling them "Mommy is tired now, let's let her rest." When I'm tired I guarantee you I'll go right to sleep. Unless they are retards, they should get the message without a word from you so leave them the heck alone. Unless I tell them to stop doing something, they are just fine.
7. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't swear (on a good day), and I don't have drama in my life. Need I say anything more?
8. For all the years you have known me, I have kept a clean home that is well organized and not chaotic. Now, I can't control your world, but I'd like to be able to control my room. You have given me my own room--right? Make sure the shades are always UP and that the curtains OPEN unless you are bathing me. I don't care that you don't want people looking in the window. I love plenty of light. Even when I die DO NOT PULL THE SHADES!!!!
9. Speaking of light, take me outside. Let me feel the sun and wind in my face. Even in the winter, bundle me up and allow me to feel the cold, see the falling leaves, and enjoy nature at its best and worst. Be cognizant that I am not left roasting in the sun!
10. I am going to die. Death is inevitable. It is part of the circle of life. Do not be afraid. If you cry for me, cry for me because you are happy that I am no longer in pain, I am no longer held down by the cares of this world. Know that I am in a much better place. Do not try to prolong my life by connecting me to tubes and machines. Allow me to go with dignity and grace. All I need to hear from you is "Mommy, we will be ok. It's ok to let go. It is ok to leave now."
11. Finally, you know how I feel about death when it comes to funerals. I feel they are a waste of time and money. If you don't want to sell my body parts (Hey, if you can make a few bucks, do it!) then either give my body to science or cremate me. Whatever you do, go the cheapest route possible. I don't want a show. I have loved you and cared for you all my life, what you have now is memories--hopefully good ones. If you know my time is close, you can negotiate my organs while I am alive--it's ok. I have kidneys, liver, eyes, heart, etc. The hospital is going to charge patients BIG bucks for what most people donate. It's given freely but yet they charge. So, make them pay for the parts. You probably can get more than $10,000 for the heart alone--I've been a loving person all my life, it has to be worth something (smile)!
Remember, I loved you before you were born, after you were born, now, and even after my death. My love for you will live through eternity. My prayer for you is that you live a life worthy of a Christian. I pray that you grow into Godly children serving the God that I serve, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Know that the only way to Heaven is through Jesus the Christ. Finally, don't just read the Word but live the Word. Men (and women) are reading your life daily. What are they reading in you?
Thank you for taking the time to read my demands—not my requests. Just like I have always demanded your respect, not your love, for I earned your love. I demand that you allow me to grow old with grace and dignity. I request that you remember only the good things about me. I request that you live your life to the fullest. Should I come to your mind from time to time, I request that any thoughts of things that I have done that hurt you or caused you harm will be overridden by my hugs, kisses, and deeds. Know that it has never been my intent to ever do you harm. Know that I have made many mistakes in rearing you and if I could take back those mistakes, I would.
Know that I could not have asked for better children. I could not have asked for more caring children. I could not have asked for more respectful children. There has never been a time in my life that I regretted the day you were born. You were each planned. Each one of you was not conceived by accident. The timing of your arrival was impeccable. The love you brought into my life has helped me survive a world that has not always been kind to me. Thank you for the privilege and honor of being your mother. I pray that I have left you with fond memories and a life full of love, because you have left me with buckets overflowing with laughter, good times, and memories that will carry me into eternal rest. I love you now and forevermore.
Mom (8/20/2009)
2. Don't, and I mean don't tell me I'm repeating myself. Just sit and listen intently. Feedback is welcomed.
3. Do not be mean to me--EVER. If I get on your last nerve I'd rather you say NOTHING then anything at all. Walk away, cool off, but never disrespect me by yelling at me, degrading me, or treating me with disregard.
4. I like to be clean. I like clean hair, I like a clean body, I like clean sheets and towels, I like a clean environment. So, take the time to bathe me at least once a day--twice would be even better. A bath in the morning and one at night, oh yeah! Come to think of it, let's do one before breakfast, a wash down after lunch, and a bath at night. That way all three of you can participate!
5. I am a Christian now, will be tomorrow, and will be after I am dead and gone. So, I don't care what your religion is or is not, don't disregard what my beliefs are. Take me to church at least once a week. Even if I can't hear or see or speak, take me to the house of God. If I am incapacitated, find a church that will come and visit me weekly and minister communion monthly.
6. Make sure that my room is filled with the Word of God. Read to me daily before I go to sleep, from the Holy Bible. I love the King James Version but other versions will be fine. I want to look at Christian shows, listen to Christian music, and be entertained by Christian people. If your friends are a bunch of hulligans, they don't need to come visit me. I won't have time for their foolishness and their disrespect for older people. Protect me like you would a prized possession.
6. Do not keep the grandchildren away from me. Make sure that they are involved in my care. How they treat me will be how they treat you when you are old. Teach them to treat me well and you will be guaranteed the same when you get older. They need to learn the importance of caring for the elderly--let them practice on me. Allow them to ask me all the questions they want without you telling them "Mommy is tired now, let's let her rest." When I'm tired I guarantee you I'll go right to sleep. Unless they are retards, they should get the message without a word from you so leave them the heck alone. Unless I tell them to stop doing something, they are just fine.
7. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't swear (on a good day), and I don't have drama in my life. Need I say anything more?
8. For all the years you have known me, I have kept a clean home that is well organized and not chaotic. Now, I can't control your world, but I'd like to be able to control my room. You have given me my own room--right? Make sure the shades are always UP and that the curtains OPEN unless you are bathing me. I don't care that you don't want people looking in the window. I love plenty of light. Even when I die DO NOT PULL THE SHADES!!!!
9. Speaking of light, take me outside. Let me feel the sun and wind in my face. Even in the winter, bundle me up and allow me to feel the cold, see the falling leaves, and enjoy nature at its best and worst. Be cognizant that I am not left roasting in the sun!
10. I am going to die. Death is inevitable. It is part of the circle of life. Do not be afraid. If you cry for me, cry for me because you are happy that I am no longer in pain, I am no longer held down by the cares of this world. Know that I am in a much better place. Do not try to prolong my life by connecting me to tubes and machines. Allow me to go with dignity and grace. All I need to hear from you is "Mommy, we will be ok. It's ok to let go. It is ok to leave now."
11. Finally, you know how I feel about death when it comes to funerals. I feel they are a waste of time and money. If you don't want to sell my body parts (Hey, if you can make a few bucks, do it!) then either give my body to science or cremate me. Whatever you do, go the cheapest route possible. I don't want a show. I have loved you and cared for you all my life, what you have now is memories--hopefully good ones. If you know my time is close, you can negotiate my organs while I am alive--it's ok. I have kidneys, liver, eyes, heart, etc. The hospital is going to charge patients BIG bucks for what most people donate. It's given freely but yet they charge. So, make them pay for the parts. You probably can get more than $10,000 for the heart alone--I've been a loving person all my life, it has to be worth something (smile)!
Remember, I loved you before you were born, after you were born, now, and even after my death. My love for you will live through eternity. My prayer for you is that you live a life worthy of a Christian. I pray that you grow into Godly children serving the God that I serve, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Know that the only way to Heaven is through Jesus the Christ. Finally, don't just read the Word but live the Word. Men (and women) are reading your life daily. What are they reading in you?
Thank you for taking the time to read my demands—not my requests. Just like I have always demanded your respect, not your love, for I earned your love. I demand that you allow me to grow old with grace and dignity. I request that you remember only the good things about me. I request that you live your life to the fullest. Should I come to your mind from time to time, I request that any thoughts of things that I have done that hurt you or caused you harm will be overridden by my hugs, kisses, and deeds. Know that it has never been my intent to ever do you harm. Know that I have made many mistakes in rearing you and if I could take back those mistakes, I would.
Know that I could not have asked for better children. I could not have asked for more caring children. I could not have asked for more respectful children. There has never been a time in my life that I regretted the day you were born. You were each planned. Each one of you was not conceived by accident. The timing of your arrival was impeccable. The love you brought into my life has helped me survive a world that has not always been kind to me. Thank you for the privilege and honor of being your mother. I pray that I have left you with fond memories and a life full of love, because you have left me with buckets overflowing with laughter, good times, and memories that will carry me into eternal rest. I love you now and forevermore.
Mom (8/20/2009)
